15 June, 2003 : Star Players Turn (Slowly) On Coach Grahamio
With Cruz Azul's unbeaten 5 match opening well behind them, 'star' players rail against coach's tacticos. The sometimes fractious relationship between Cruz Azul's experienced players and Scotch Egg Beating coach Georgio Grahamio has deteriorated further following three high scoring matches. This Sunday, playing one of the few teams below them in the Hillsboro OR league, Grahamio was confident that his team could forge a fourth 0-0 draw for the season.

Things went pear shaped when the recently unearthed striker Adomaydis, formerly known as 'The Ancient Briton' accidentally deflected a ball off his head into the path of ruthless strike partner Yuri-'No Paso'-Yuri, who scored with a sweet volley. The opposition promptly equalised. Furious coach Grahamio hauled off Adomaydis at half-time blaming him for starting the scoring spree, refusing to acknowledge the catalogue of glaring misses that Adomaydis had skillfully muffed in order to keep the score down.

The infuriated Ancient Briton responded by throwing down his Blue Banana (more on this next week) and walked out of the ground saying to the swarming press only that "had I known I'd be pulled off again i wouldn't have stopped drinking after eight pints."
Things got worse, without their star striker Cruz went on to win 7-1, completely distorting their goal difference. Meanwhile, club officials deny new stories linking Cruz Azul and Manchester Corp. in a swap deal involving Victoria Beckham, an unnamed former pop star, and their unsettled Ancient Briton.