22 June, 2003 : Cruz Dubbed Los Azul Bananas After Latest Slip-Up
Last week's hero Yuri-'No Paso'-Yuri sees red as coach Grahamio goes bananas. Any thoughts of Cruz Azul's record 7-1 win last week spurring them on to further victories were buried this Sunday as they crashed to a flattering 4-1 defeat. The opposition completely dominated a game in which leading goalscorer Yuri only lasted 30mins, completely inaffective against a team that could actually organise defence, he was dismissed after kicking someone in the head and then catching a harmless crossfield ball. Why? Who knows.
Not appopleptic coach Grahamio, who couldn't contain his fury at having to see his side fail to secure a "cero-cero", despite his absurdly dark sunglasses. "They had at least five players over six feet tall!" he bemoaned, "and little Yuri gets booked when his boot is stopped by a face!" Cruz's tallest player, 5 foot 8 and 3 quarters Adomaydis (pictured left through Grahamio's shades) was completely useless and subbed out early as usual to go eat brunch, he was, however credited with Cruz's new moniker - Los Azul Bananas (the new team colours having changed from blue on white to yellow and blue). Adomaydis had been unable to remember amarillo, "I thought it was a mixed drink", he explained to awaiting press.

After the game (watched curiously by a record crowd of 67 people) Grahamio refused to contenance any change in team tactics, blaming 'totally inadequate floodlighting' for the result and pledging a no-goals performance next week: "If we can't score then our opponents shouldn't be allowed to either!" He concluded triumphantly before storming off and bumping into a door jamb (or was that a missing goalpost?).